RSG-Cincinatti  2006

This was the 6^th installment of RSG Cincinnati. I’m still learning things as a host – ways to make the event run more smoothly, things not to do, etc. It sure doesn’t feel like it’s been six years, that’s for sure.

The event started with an 8 AM tee time at Blue Ash GC. It is a nice municipal course located in the north-central Cincinnati suburbs. It was designed by Jack Kidwell who has done a large number of different courses in Ohio. Thor ends up picking a lot of Kidwell courses for RSG-Ohio. The players in the morning were Mark Koenig, Thor, Keith Torrance, and William “Bill-O” King. “John, you’re the host. Why weren’t you playing,” you might ask. Well, about two weeks ago the CEO of my company and our Regional Director announced that they were coming in for a visit. Figuring you never want to piss off the CEO, I decided to go into the office in the morning in case they needed some numbers or other financial information that only I could provide. Of course, as luck would have it, they arrived in the office, went directly into a meeting and I never even saw them. An opportunity to play a round of golf wasted.

I got out of the office and headed over to O’Bannon Creek GC at about noontime. The rest of the bunch were already there eating lunch and drinking beer. The course wasn’t very crowded so we were able to tee off about an hour early. We played two threesomes – Mark Koenig/Thor/my dad Jack and me/Keith Torrance/Bill-O. Mark proposed a match – the combined two best scores from each group against each other. It was an interesting format b/c you never really knew if you won a hole or not. My group got off to a terrible start and we were four down at one point on the front nine (in a passing fairway we compared scores). All of the sudden we started playing better making two pars or better for about six holes in a row. But in the end we fell apart and lost two down.

We went off to dinner at The Works, a great pizza place located in an old firehouse. Unfortunately, they got very busy just before we arrived so we had to wait about 45 minutes for a table. It was so sad that we had to stand around at the bar, drink a couple beers, and talk. Just as we got seated David Sneddon showed up. All in all, it was a very good day.

Saturday morning came much too early. I was dragging but anxious to get to Shaker Run and play golf. I ended up getting to the course over an hour early and even before Thor, which is a rare thing indeed. Things went very smoothly with the only exception being they switched which nine we teed of on. Originally, we had planned on going off on the Lakeside but they sent us off the Woodlands. That was confused for a while but things got worked out in time for everyone to get their score cards and a copy of the rules. There was a special supplement to the rules provided to each player:

RSG Cincinnati Rules Supplement Decisions Applicable Only in RSG Events RSG/33-7/100 What Do I Do Now? Q. After several holes of mediocre golf, a player who will not win a skin, is out of the running to win the Red Brick, Coffeemaker, or other coveted RSG event trophy, and who basically only belongs on a golf course because he is a great guy with an understanding of the fundamental enjoyment of the gemme gets his ball into a seemingly impossible situation. How must the player proceed? A. The player must chuck a ball down and get moving.  There's beer to be drunk. RSG/33-7/101 Player Loses Touch with Reality During Post-Round Meal Q. A player, caught up in the camaraderie of the event and under the influence of far too many pitchers of beer, suddenly (and inexplicably) fancies himself suave and handsome and begins to flirt with the attractive waitress. What is the ruling? A. The player should recognize that this waitress is young enough to be his daughter and that she is only talking to him because it is her job. As the waitress’s attention is solely due to her expectation of a large gratuity, the player must provide that gratuity and leave her alone. RSG/33-7/102 Player Brings up Controversial Topics During an Otherwise Enjoyable Round of Golf Q. A player, while playing an otherwise enjoyable round of golf with his fellow-competitors, begins to pontificate on controversial topics. Such topics might include politics, religion, taxes, world leaders, and geopolitical economics. How should the player proceed? A. The player should recognize that his fellow competitors have traveled many miles and endured countless hardships to play golf with friends. Such opportunities occur infrequently and should not be spoiled by petty arguments. The player is required to purchase one pitcher of non-domestic or microbrew draft beer for his fellow competitors. RSG/33-7/103 Player Whines Incessantly about Handicap Strokes Q. A player, during the course of a match or tournament where handicap strokes are allocated, complains and whines incessantly about having to give too many handicap strokes to his opponent/fellow competitors. What is the ruling? A. A designated representative, preferably the player’s opponent or another member of his group, should tell the player to suck it up and hit the ball, that he whines like an old lady, and that he wouldn’t have to give up so many strokes if he weren’t such a good player. To smooth any hard feelings the whining player should apologize, feel shame, and buy his opponent/playing companions one beverage of their choice. RSG/33-7/104 RSG Event Held in a Dry County Q. What if an RSG event is held in a dry county? A. Despite what some might think, the cornerstones of RSG events are friendly competition, seeing old friends, and meeting new ones. Alcohol, while not being a primary focus, is an important part of these social gatherings and not having it available for toasts, the enjoyment of the participants, and the settlement of Beer Matches can cause a significant disruption to the festivities. It is the host’s responsibility to ensure that beer is available to be consumed even if he must bring it to the course in a cooler packed with ice. When a bottle-opener is necessary and unavailable, hold the edge of the bottle cap firmly against a golf cart and strike the bottle with a downward blow.

Personally, I always play like crap in my own tournament and this was no exception as you’ll see from the results below. We also had the typical close to the pin/long drive contests but I didn’t keep the plaques so I don’t remember who won what. IIRC, David Sneddon and Mark Koenig each won a long drive. The close to the pins were Hudson McVay, Jack Pflum, and ……. I don’t remember the other two. Sorry!!!!

Shaker was playing loooooong for the tournament round. We had a fair bit of rain a few days before and there was very little roll on any of the fairways.

The Jug was won by a first time RSG Tour winner who will take it back to Columbus. Congratulations to the 2006 RSG Cincinnati Supreme Golfer Shawn Beachy for a fine performance. Full low gross results:

The low net prize is the coveted Red Brick Trophy. We had a surprise winner this year, well at least the winner was surprised. The brick will stay in Cincinnati this year. Congratulations to the 2006 RSG Cincinnati Champion Golfer – Joe Pflum. He becomes the third Pflum to win the tournament. Now my brother Steve needs to step up and win. Full net standings:

Sunday morning arrived and we played at Deer Track GC, site of the 2003 tournament. One pleasant surprise was the Terry Easton showed up out of the blue. I was in the pro shop and heard his voice. Luckily, we had an extra spot so he played with my dad, Bill-O, and my brother Joe (2006 RSG Cincinnati Champion).

The course was in good shape except the fairways were pretty shaggy. The course is very flat and no doubt they haven’t been able to get out and mow. We played a match – Koenig/Me vs. Thor/Sneddon (Tall/Skinny vs. Short/Round). Though, essentially, it was Koenig vs. Thor/Sneddon until about the 13^th hole when I was actually able to hit the ball. We (or Mark) ended up winning 2 & 1.

Then everyone went home.  I hate it when the golf is over and every goes home. I only get to see a lot of these people once or twice a year. It makes me sad to see them go home.

Special thanks to everyone who donated prizes this year – Thor, Annika, Pat Inglis, and others (sorry if I’m forgetting anyone!). Very special thanks to Mark Koenig for writing the spreadsheet that made the scoring, standings, and skins.

Seeya next July!

Special Supplement: Ten Things I Learned at RSG Cincinnati 2006

1. Victory Miller Lite tastes better than a Guinness on draft.

2. Pf Pflum

3. Sergio’s day was over the second he put on that dorky yellow shirt.

4. Thor brags about his big cucumber (from his garden).

5. Beauno Smith chats online all the time with hot Asian chicks.

6. John Yoshizawa would lose a ball marker even if it was Super Glued to his forehead.

7. I have a job for the at least the next couple years.

8. Keith Torrance is one of the bravest people I know. He blew off his wife’s birthday in order to come to Cincinnati and play golf.

9. John Yoshizawa is a computer gaming geek just like me.

10. Mark Koenig put the “dog” in “doggie bag.”