From: To: Subject: RSGOHIO 2000 International Report Date: Monday, September 18, 2000 7:59 PM The fifth annual get-together of rec.sport.golf inhabitants (and ex-inhabitants), known as RSG-OHIO, was held September 15th-17th in the Central Ohio area. It was so awesome. I can't believe it is over. I miss you guys already - come back next year!! It was a blast seeing all of you and chasing that little white ball!!! Some pictures and info hopefully will be going up on my site: http://ttsoft.com/thor/rsgohio CONVERGENCE Golfers began arriving from all parts of the globe, with RSG-OHIO 2000 International having I believe the most 'global' attendance of any RSG Event to date, at least in the US. We had eight states plus Canada represented: Ohio Indiana Michigan Pennsylvania South Carolina Texas New Jersey New York Canada Bill Sponseller (aka just SPONSELLER), arrived Wed morning to visit his brother, so he and I played Thursday afternoon at Table Rock golf course (http://www.tablerock.com) - worth going there just to view Jim Butler's huge club collection, especially the Scotty Cameron putters (bring your credit line, some are well over $2K). I believe most out of towners stayed at the Red Roof in Worthington, and I hear that when Mark Koenig arrived at midnight there was a message waiting for him to meet Coops and others at the bar. So they were well rested and alert Fri AM for the pre-warmup round. The weather here in Ohio, BTW, for the whole week - was absolutely ideal - though the golfers from Texas were bundled up and cold in the AM, while I wore shorts and a T-shirt. No rain of course (It helps being Thor). PRE-WARMUP ROUND Friday we played as usual a bargain course just to try to get the kinks out of our swings - we played Blacklick Woods, which is a heck of a course for only 16 bucks. And kinks we had, though Dave Tutelman almost drove the green on the par-4 first... the practice green that is! About 30 yards dead right. I played with my buddy Fred from Philly, Pete H (a local), and Dave Tutelman. I had no game - heck I had no game for the weekend - the only decent round I had was Thurs with SPONSELLER (83 at Table Rock. But it was still great fun - always is a lot of fun to play with these guys. Afterwards we went to the clubhouse to get some Chunky Chicken sandwiches (which are awesome). I guess I should have told them in advance, as they only had enough for about 3 sandwiches, then we cleaned up their tuna salad, turkey - they ran out of everything. The last group had to go to a nearby SubWay to get sustenance. Sorry guys. WARMUP ROUND (TM) In the afternoon we headed to Champions golf course. This is a municipal course, though you would never believe it. It used to be a private country club course, but the club moved out to the country and sold the course to the City some years ago. This is a classic Robert Trent Jones Sr course, a strategic layout, easy to walk, and very subtle greens. They are usually very quick, but this time of year you aren't going to find too many greens that aren't a little fuzzy or bumpy, so they were not as fast as I usually find them. I played with David Sneddon (Canada), Don Doyle (Michigan), and John Pflum (Cincinatti). David is a Scot originally and it lent a great deal of flavor to the round listening to his accent. He is also a great guy and a lot of fun. He really can crush the ball as well. Don Doyle was playing out of his mind on the front 9 and was only 1 over after about 7 holes. Not bad for a 21 hcp! I'm glad I got to see that! I did have fun on the first tee, after I tell John Pflum that I like to smash a draw over the trees on the left (dogleg left), doing precisely that and cutting the corner to about 80 yards. Of course chunked wedge led to a bogey anyway... It was a pretty windy day... and always at our back I guess, because on the 7th tee David asked what direction the back 9 went in as we were always hitting with the wind... I showed him the little map on the card -- the last three holes we had played were in a big circle around a wooded ravine! So we had hit every direction of the compass. Afterwards, we all went to Hops Restaurant. Great place - excellent food, great service, and they brew some good ale. PS Mark K, I am still waiting for a golf ball to come flying back toward my head. THE MAIN EVENT (TM) Saturday morning is always a little tournament at RSG-OHIO. All minds focus on who will get to hold the fabled coveted CoffeeMaker trophy and wear the Maroon Champion's Jacket. This was held at Indian Springs, the crowning jewel in Jack Kidwell's career, and what a course it is!! Way out in the country, it is inexpensive too at only $35.00. Match Play Madness(TM) was held on the new 3rd 9 which only cost $7.00!! The condition of the course was excellent, they treat us so well there, and they are so walker-friendly that it is obviously the perfect venue for RSG-OHIO!! I am sure you are dying to find out, so without further delay, I hereby introduce the RSG-OHIO 2000 International Champion: Michael Plowinske from New York!!! Now if you were paying attention you know that Mike also won the 2000 RSG-HERSHEY event, and thus became a 2-time Shmajor winner in one year! This is undoubtedly the greatest year in RSG-Tour history. Let's look at some stats: Shmajors in 2000 Mike Plowinske: 2 Tiger Woods: 0 Lifetime multiple Shmajor winners: Mike Plowinske: 2 Jim Hoskins: 2 Tiger Woods: 0 So it is clearly a Plowinske kind of a year. Also, it was cool that Mike knew I had my eye on the wedge donated by Patrick Inglis and chose that as his prize... then gave it to me!!! Hmmm, Mike you can't buy a higher handicap for next year, sorry :-) Thanks Mike!!! For those who are wondering what a Shmajor is, it is what we here in rsg call the 'major' rsg events, the term coming from I don't know where in a thread a couple of years ago. We also had prizes for 2nd, 3rd, several places for low gross, skins, long drives, closest to pins, long putts, and an RSG-OHIO special, the lowest total putts during the round. I don't remember all of the winners, I know Patrick Inglis destroyed a drive dead into the wind and got long drive, David Sneddon blew one past me to take the other long drive... Brent Hutto made closest to the pin... THANKS to all who donated prizes, including Patrick Inglis, who donated a wedge and a putter from Parabolic Golf (http://www.parabolicgolf.com). Other donors included Mark Koenig, Joe Conte, and Don Doyle. Really hope I didn't miss anybody, in any case - THANKS! I played with RSG-OHIO International 2000 Champion Mike Plowinske, Mark Koenig, and Patrick Inglis. One memorable and cornfusing moment: Mark Koenig was on the edge of OB on the #2 handicap hole, down in long weeds and stuff... swish!! Where'd it go??? I didn't think he had hit it. He looked around his feet, Patrick looked up ahead, finally it is spotted directly behind his left foot!! He never felt it and nobody knows how it got there. Patrick is a lot of fun to play with. He is quiet and not a large man, but his swing is packed with power. Almost a complete pause at the top, his energy gathers and he just pounds the dickens out of the ball. Exceedingly glad to meet you Patrick, hope you make it down from Canada another time!!! Personally I played fairly well until the 12th hole. In the woods with a driver. In the woods with my second, I finally take a 5-iron and pitch one down the fairway, ending up with an 11. That was all she wrote. MATCH PLAY MADNESS (TM) I posted recently about Match Play Madness(TM), an Adventure in Spirit, meant to be a contrast to the myriad of rules and try to play with a much simplified rule set (one rule), tempered by the Spirit of the Rule, which is that you hit the ball without touching it until it is in the hole. If you can't do so, you can't win the hole. That includes hitting into a hazard, etc. No drops. No obstructions. No definitions section - let the spirit move you. This event is held in honor of Charles Blair Macdonald, who so despised laying hands on the golf ball to pick it up out of the hole, and relied and wrote long about the spirit of the rules ingrained in the Scottish culture. This is the most fun golf event for me there is. I love it. We had balls hit into deep water, balls lost in very long grass, marking the ball without being asked -- instantly the hole is over. OHIO VS THE WORLD in MATCH PLAY MADNESS (TM) Ohio vs The World is a lot of fun. Ohio is not usually very competitive, but somehow this year we were the eventual winner. But nobody really card - we enjoyed the comeraderie in the event, and the experience of trying to play by the spirit instead of the letter of the rule is what matters. And of course - there is no cup! We always have to trade a player or two to make the sides even. Poor Don Doyle was traded to Ohio, then we realized that was one too many trades, and got traded back to the World. GRUB, GROG, and GOSSIP (TM) Also each year we have a prize for the best tale, preferably about Match Play Madness (TM) and the spirit of the rule. We headed to a Mexican restaurant Casa Fiesta or some such - excellent place (and John Pflum's wife took care of ordering a great meal for me - I always order the wrong thing), and started telling stories... here are some of the entries: Someone from Mark Koenig's group told about each golfer hitting a ball into deep doodoo, and thus losing the chance to win the hole. His opponent already having hit his ball where the sun don't shine, Mark was prompted by a teammate to play the entire hole with his wedge. That would not be of good spirit, said Mark, and promptly smashed his 2-wood into just as much trouble. 4 lost balls - 2 halved holes. Well one hole halved twice. Mark told of Jim Hoskins being 2 feet into the water, but the top of the ball was dry. Jim takes off shirt, and socks, and shoes to make the attempt. But there is more water on the other side of the green! Fortunately a bunch of geese walked there also. Jim blasts out, beans a goose, and lands on dry land. If not for the geese, he was all wet. I told of Dave Tutelman, who once called the Match Play Madness(TM) rule Draconian, but now I think is one of its greatest fans, and certainly understands its meaning as well as anyone. He first is in very tall grass, taking several shots to get out. Then he whacks his ball a few more times. His opponent is only laying 3 or so. Dave doesn't give up... find the ball and hit it until you can't hit it any more. Whack - splash into the creek. Finds the ball in the muck and grass. Whack! Whack! Still there. Tries a different tactic (remember his opponent is safe laying 3 or 4) and aims away from the green. Splash!!!! Where's the ball. He just wanted to keep hitting it but it couldn't be found. Lots of fun! Great spirit, Dave! And the winning story, told by John Pflum: "Magic Pixie Dance" One year ago John was embarrassed in Match Play Madness (TM) by Coops, being defeated 5 & 4. John called one hole a cheap shot, when he was asked to mark his ball, and was caught cleaning it (which is not allowed in Match Play Madness). Coops kindly offered John a rematch at this years RSG-OH and a chance to regain some of his self respect. The first four holes were not kind to Coops -- the FUBU ball was obviously cursed and brought back luck upon its user, John 4 up after 4 holes. Coops turned it around, winning the next 4, including a par 5 where John turned into Jean Van Der Pflum trying to blast a completely submerged ball out of the creek, displacing volumes of water. All square. The 9th hole, Coops, pulls the ball way left. John pops one into the fairway about 120 yards, then 4-iron short of the green. Coops, methodically surveys his shot and finally hits a gorgeous high arcing missile over the trees into the rough on the right side of the fairway. The ball ends up just above Coops' feet and he needs to go about 30 yards to the back left pin location. John says he has seen many things in his life but what Coops did next he will never forget. He addressed his ball and began what shall ever after be known as the Magic Pixie Dance (TM). A shuffle back and forth and a practice swing, a shuffle closer and another practice swing, a third shuffle and another swipe. John could see the spell that Coops was casting and was left speechless. A well struck pitch ended in the middle of the green about 25 feet from the cup. The Pixie magic had apparently affected John as well and he chunked his pitch cleanly into the left side bunker. He would need to get up and down from about 20 feet to halve the match. Luckily the Power of his Snake Eyes wedged was able to banish the Pixies and he blasted out to a foot. Coops lagged his putt up and they halved the hole -- finishing battle to the end all square. MORE GOLF (TM) Sunday was played at beautifully conditioned new course called Cumberland Trail (http://www.cumberlandtrail.com). Not a bad place, though it didn't do a lot for me, and the greens had no subtlety, but it was fun. There are going to be a lot of houses lining the fairways on the front 9, and the starter tried to discourage us from walking (there are a coupla hikes, though I've seen a lot longer ones). But the conditions were good, and the greens were fast and smooth, esp on the front. I was in a group with Ken Pitts. Ken got frustrated watching me trying to chip with a sand wedge and forcefully tore it from my grasp and made me use my putter :-) Okay, I probably got it at least as close as I would have with the wedge, though that pin position was a little extreme so I was timid with the putter and left it above the pin with no possible way of stopping the next putt. I did have one moment of glory, getting to the par-5 16th in two, and Mark K encouraged my putt toward the hole, as I told him it would rain in Texas as soon as I made an eagle in Ohio.... missed by a whisper. Tap-in birdie anyway. Oh, I also made a miracle up-and-down, after hitting an 8-iron longer than humanly possible into a creek after topping my drive just past the ladies tee. I had no way to get over the creek without walking about 500 yards. Then I find my ball on the near edge of the creek in the mud and grass, take off my shoes and sink into the muck up to my knees. Dig it out of there to 12 feet above the pin. Center cup for a ho-hum par. PLEASE COME NEXT YEAR Everybody left. Well, not Ken and SPONSELLER. They went and played the front 9 at Cumberland Trail again. Twice! This had to be one of the best RSG-OHIOs of all time!!!! I am so glad you all came, hope you had fun, and hope you come again next year. Great to make new friends, and just have a blast golfing and talking about golf. Once again, I am now immersed in the depths of post RSG-OHIO depression. And the great gemme lives on. -- -- -- David "Thor" Collard -- http://ttsoft.com/thor -- thor@lucent.com