=========|=========|=========|=========|=========|=========|=========|=========| Pittsburgh Golf, April 25-26, 1998 My dictionary defines Thorazine as "used to suppress the more flagrant symptoms of disturbed behavior." So I guess instead of the Thor Effect, this weekend we experienced the Thorazine Effect. We did get rained on a little, but -- compared with the one-day record rainfall in the rest of Pittsburgh -- this was definitely a "suppressed symptom of deranged" weather. But let's start at the beginning. Friday afternoon I left the office at 3PM and picked up Fred Stluka outside Philly at 5PM. By dark, we were well into the Pennsylvania Allegheny Mountains, and supper was behind us. And by 10PM, we were actually in the John Butler House (the bed'n'breakfast at Butler's Golf Course). Fast, smooth ride, followed by a good night's sleep. During breakfast at the Rock Run Inn, the others started arriving. First Thor and Joe Dean, who drove in from Columbus that morning. Then Mark Georg (who arranged all this) and his friends Bill and Jim. Ron Anthony and Chuck Sedlacko didn't get there in time for breakfast, but easily in time for our 8:30 tee time. Saturday was a gorgeous day, and we made the most of it. Bright sunshine, and temperatures around 70F. I showed off my new high-tech driver: a 15-5 stainless steel 250cc head on a frequency-controlled filament-wound big-butt shaft. When you hit the ball on the center of the clubface, it sounds like a cowbell on quaaludes. And, oh yeah, the ball goes a long way. I played with Chuck, a big young strong guy who kept complaining that I was outdriving him all day. Well, I'll usually hit a couple a month over 270 yards, but I hit three over that in just this one day. On the 22nd hole we played, I had the first 300-yard drive of my life. As good as the long game was, my short game too frequently came up short: - I'd have parred the first five holes of the weekend, except that I three- putted three of the five. - I four-putted a green. But I wasn't the only one; I know Fred and Thor did too. I hope it was just to keep me from feeling too bad. :-)> - Perhaps the most interesting example was a short par-three at Butler's. I took five GOOD shots. (Yes, you heard that right.) My 8-iron tee shot hit the green, but wouldn't stop rolling and trickled off the back. My chip was perfect -- almost in the cup -- but the green sloped away and the ball rolled off and down the slope. Now I needed my lob wedge to get back up onto the green, but I had left it at the next tee, just taking a pitching wedge to chip and my putter. I opened the face of the wedge all the way, and lofted the ball to five feet. Almost sank the fast sidelill putt, leaving myself a tap-in double bogey. I quit after 27 holes, as planned. Others continued on for another nine. (Well, you KNOW Thor and Fred did.) The rest of us went back to the Butler House and had a club measuring party. Something about beer, chips, a swing- weight scale, a frequency meter, and a bunch of bags of golf clubs. Anyway, we had a chance to diagnose about three sets of clubs before the walking crew got back. Thor and Fred were still ready to go, and recruited Bill and Jim. The rest of us had a really nice late afternoon on the porch of the Butler house, watching people play up the last hole. By sundown, at least two of our crew had walked 45 holes. The evening was marked by a really good dinner at an Italian restaurant in Versailles (no Mexican food this trip; the string is broken) and a really dire weather forecast for tomorrow. The planned first nine at Butlers (7:30 tee time) seemed to justify the dire predictions. It rained on an off, and both the course and the golf were very sloppy. On the second hole, I lost my grip on a club during the down- swing, and planted the club in the ground six inches behind the ball. After that, I was unable to muster a single positive swing thought the whole round. And when your swing thought is, "Let's just get this over with," you can't play very good golf. But now I know the secret to Thor's record of never having a round of golf rained out; he just doesn't let the rain chase him off the course. By the end of the round, the rain had stopped for a couple of holes, so we turned our cars west toward Lindenwood, where we had an 11:00 tee time for 18 holes. Lindenwood is gorgeous. Oh yes, the course was wet under foot, but we did not get rained on for the first 15-1/2 holes. The front nine is hilly and well treed. The condition was immaculate, in spite of the rain. The greens, while wet and soft (read "receptive") remained fast and fairly true for putting. Fred discovered something interesting about the blue spruces lining the fairways: they were ball-hungry. The boughs were so thick that balls were staying in the trees at the level where they hit. Fred must have knocked a dozen balls out of the trees at eye level or above. The back nine, we scrambled the lineup and played a course not only hilly but ponded and creeked. Water was in play on five of the holes, including the two par-threes. Both were impressive; elevated tees, and a green that looked like it had to be hit a six- or seven-iron away. (As it turned out, missing the green was less punitive than it looked from the tee, unless you caught the water.) Beautiful holes! On both holes, the first two shots from our group were on the green and not far from the hole. The next guy to hit in each case said, "These guys are good!" Then there was the dogleg-right par five. Thor borrowed my driver and hit it over the bunker guarding the turn. (Nobody in the other party believed it when we told them where Thor's drive came to rest. But he has already ordered a shaft just like mine for his next driver. :-) I didn't make it past the bunker on the same line, and had to hit standing in the bunker, with the ball above my feet cupped in a dandelion. For the third shot, you had to hit it over a lake to the green just beyond. My six-iron made it across the lake, and I got up-and-down for a hard-earned par. [THOR: I forgot to mention this driver - it is strange, as the butt of the shaft is parallel (no taper) with a Winn wrap grip. I loved the feel of it, so I have to try it out some more ] On the sixteenth, a 350-yard par-4, Thor borrowed my driver again and put it within chipping range. No rain at Lindenwood until we got to the 16th green. A little drizzle on and off till we finished 18, and waited for the second group. But as we climbed the hill back to the clubhouse, the rain got harder. By the time we reached the parking lot, it was pouring. I tried taking dry socks from the car, but in the seconds it took to get them to the clubhouse they were much wetter than the socks I was already wearing. We wound up delaying our departure by an hour because we were too wet to drive without changing, and it was raining too hard to bring dry clothes in from the car. We hung out (beer and hot wings with Mark and Bill) in the clubhouse until the rain paused long enough for us to change. The first couple of hours of the drive home were terrible; really miserable hard rain. Then it eased off, and the rest of the ride was quick and on schedule. Yes, we WILL do it again. Mark, thanks again for setting up a great weekend of golf.